Six Months

One month and it still feels like a nightmare.

I see two boys in the grocery cart together and I think about what could have been.

Two months and there are still moments of disbelief

A pregnant woman passes by and I am jealous of her ignorant joy.

Three months and my body finally quit producing milk.

I hear the wind howling in our apartment and it sounds like a newborn cry.

Four months and the anniversaries begin.

One year ago we just found out we were expecting him.

Five months and time has raced passed us.

I hold a newborn for the first time and my heart sighs sadness.

Six months and I still encounter people who haven't heard.

We would be figuring out personality, favorite foods.

This is a long road.  Sometimes, trudging along is the only thing to do.