She invalidated my suffering in seven words- 'oh well, there will be another one'. How could I respond?
She didn't need to know how agonizing that decision is already. She didn't need to hear all the thoughts that swirl around as we consider another one. She didn't need to be told how scary it would be to wait through another 40 weeks waiting to see if it would end differently.
Because someone who can make suffering trite wouldn't understand the complexities of the next step. You cannot label tragedy with 'oh well’. Nor can you expect me to move on as if his nine months were inconsequential.
Every next time will be overshadowed with grief and clouded with angst. There’s more below the surface of ‘oh well’.
I'm Sorry she was so hurtful in her failed attempt to be encouraging. Your suffering is long and deep and wide and no one sees it and it makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It hurt for a while but I realize now she was trying to be encouraging.
DeleteI am sorry that she was so incredibly insensitive, obviously not grasping the magnitude of your suffering and loss.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeannie. People mean well, I know that. And death makes people really uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too.
DeleteI pray for strength and grace for you when others comment on things they do not understand. I know I do not fully understand as well and I thank you for letting me get a glimpse into your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThanks Hannah. Strength and grace for others are necessary. I do hope and pray that even though people say things that are insensitive that I can respond well and not on the attack.
Delete